Welcome to a new year

The arrival of the new year and everyone's resolutions always make me think of that Dare You to Move song by Switchfoot, "welcome to existence...everyone's here...everyone's watching you now...what happens next...what happens next?" Kinda like there's some big great anticipation of what you will personally accomplish during the next year that the whole world is waiting for. And I never really want to believe that, you know? It's a little too much pressure. I'd much rather settle for ordinary living, easy expectations, shallow-end goals. I'm just being honest. I'm not always into change.

Maybe other people feel the same way. What motivates us to make changes? Is it the example of others? An honest look back at the past? What motivates a person to want to set goals? I've kept a journal sporadically throughout my life, starting in junior high. I remember feeling like I had nothing much to say when I was 13, but my youth pastor encouraged everyone to journal. I've been on and off for 15 years. Now is one of those off times. But I remember once during college when I started journaling again and kept it up regularly for the next few years. I think it started with an anxious day 1. and day 1 led to a less awkward day 2. When day 3 rolled around, i was started to be okay with writing. Weeks rolled into months and a pattern was set. I think the lesson for me was that I'm really motivated by the very act of doing it. Writing produces a desire to write. Memorizing produces a desire to memorize. Learning produces a desire to learn. Sounds paradoxical to me. But I wonder what I should be doing now, in order to motivate me to actually want to do it later, and keep doing it...

"the tension is here...the tension is here...between who you are and who you could be...between how it is and how it should be..."